Bluegrass Romance

Admittedly, Bikram Yoga is more L.A. than Bluegrass. Kentucky is known for three things and yoga, of any kind, isn’t one of them.  Basketball, bourbon or horses maybe on the minds of Lexingtonians, but not Bikram. It is, however, something that has been on my to try list for awhile.

What is great about this Bluegrass Romance project is that it not only holds me accountable to seek out more romance and adventure in my life, but it also encourages me to search activities that are conducive to experiencing more romance and adventure. What do I mean by this? Well, for some it maybe enough to simply plan an exciting outing, but for me  I have to mentally be into it too. After all, we all know foreplay starts in the brain, why wouldn’t romance and adventure start there too?

Only 5 weeks into 2010 and I’ve already learned if your mind, body and spirit aren’t in the mood for romance and adventure, it doesn’t matter if you are given a chance to swing on chandeliers, or sip champagne on a moonbow– you aren’t going to experience any romance or adventure.

Half way through my week of Bikram, I realized this was just the mind-body training I needed. If I wanted to do more than just fill up a  year of romantic and adventurous activities in the Bluegrass, than I would need to develop the quality of being that is conducive to actually experiencing romance and adventure.

The quality of being I’m talking about is presence– the  being here now presence of yoga or meditation or flow.  You might not  draw the connection between a lifestyle of romance and adventure and regular yoga practice, but I’m telling you there is one. That’s not to say there aren’t hundreds of other ways one could break into a sweat and get into the zone–  bike polo and roller-derby also come to mind– but to satisfy the yogi in me, this week I chose to up the game of my own yoga practice and try Bikram.

Let me explain what Bikram is:

A beginning Bikram class  is a 90 minutes class, incorporating a series of 26 postures and 2 breathing exercises, and is practiced in a humid room heated to 105°F .

(Note: for this mini-mission I set aside the licensing controversy around Bikram and just concentrated on the physical and mental challenge each class would bring).

Here is how my experience went:

Day 1:  Sweaty and nervous. When I first walked in I was relieved to see that there were bodies of all shapes and sizes in class. Was I expecting only svelte, olympic athletes or supermodels? I think so.  Seeing the range of fitness levels, was I overly confident that I would be able to do this class no problem because of my years of yoga experience? No.  The sweltering temperature in the room kept me humble right from the beginning.  I sweat so much that first class my shins and wrists dripped water like a leaky faucet– and I’m not even a sweater.

Day 2:  Sweaty and dizzy. A bit of a blizzard came over the night and outside temperatures dropped into the teens, but I was determined to get to class where it was a steady 105. I didn’t drink enough water that morning though so half way through the balancing postures the room started to grow real dark at the edges. Twice I had to lay down and just focus on the breathing. Do not throw up! Do not throw up! Fuzzy brain. I experienced the clarity and exctacy that comes when all thoughts unrelated to keeping the heart beating and lungs inflating sink to the bottom of the pool and dissolve away because they are no longer important. Only thoughts pertaining to breath are important.

Day 3:  Sweaty and breathing. Early that morning in bed I could not imagine making it through another Bikram class. I was starting to feel sore and didn’t trust I had the stamina to rise and make Lucca his breakfast. I took a deep breath in and felt the faith rise within that I could get through the class-or anything- if I would just breathe. I made it to class and when my breathing and my postures started to sync, I took special note of what the instructor kept repeating: “When the body is fit, the mind can get fit too.”

Day 4:  Sweaty and focused. At the end of this class of 90 min hot- yoga-ing, I had an ephiphany. Lying in savasana (perhaps half asleep?) I heard my own voice say: Us moms are multi-tasking to our own demise! We got it all wrong! Mind and body are one when they share one purpose, not seven. At home multi-tasking feels like the right lifestyle because we think it saves time. To be able to make a peanut butter and jelly with one hand, load the dishwasher with the other, all the while leaving a message for the insurance agent with the phone up to our ear, this is awesome, right? Wrong. Yoga teaches us not to aspire to be multi-taskers. What yoga teaches us mind and body union and this can only happen through focus on what thing at a time.  In class we do one posture. We rest. Then we the next posture. If we are in bow pose and simultaneously drafting an email in our head, or even thinking of the sweat dripping into our eye, we loose it. Monkey mind takes over. And multi-tasking is monkey mind at its worst.  Still in savasana, I vowed to resist the temptation to do more than one thing at a time. “To kill two birds with one stone” is a favorite motto of mine, and almost a creed I live by.  It was now being challenged. For just this afternoon at least,  I would focus, and I would value my sanity over saving time.

Day 5:  Sweaty and grateful. Amazingly, the room did not feel as hot today,though the temperature on the wall still said 105. Many things were easier: Never in any of the poses did I get a wave of dizziness or nausea. Not for one moment did I think I was going to faint.  Many things were also harder though: Keeping my mind focused was harder. Keeping balance was harder. Now that my body was accustomed to the heat and the humidity in the room, my mind used that freedom to wander.  I actually missed a bit of the extreme exhaustion– there was deep peace in only worrying about breathing. This is the gift of the complete novice– survival mode breeds beautiful mental clarity. The goal of the practitioner becomes to  get back to the beginners mind. The tendency of  the flesh is to find short cuts, but the true yogi keeps pushing herself to find the physical and mental edge when all else but breath falls away. Ahh, mental stillness. Coming home from day 5 I felt grateful for the opportunity to be able to work on self in this way, knowing the benefits would extend to my family as well.

I  want to come back for a day 6 and a day 60. I believe in the benefits of this kind of yoga. Sure, it burns more than 800 calories per class, but it not just good for the body, it’s good for the mind.

You have heard me say already that  sometimes romance and adventure is a choice like happiness can be a choice. What this week of mental and physical challenge taught me is that mind and body connection play more than just a token role in each of our days.  Simply put, the experience of romance and adventure in your daily life come easier when your mind, body and spirit are healthy.  Learning how to stop multi-tasking and focus on just one thing at a time again is good for us. I can use this skill next time I am out on a romantic date night or a family adventure.  When the dishes or bills beg to be worried about and start hopping around my brain to get my attention, I can practice the single-pointed mind learned in performing yoga postures and choose to focus only on the face of the man sitting across from me at my table. When the ego starts nit-picking about the wrinkles on my face or the pizza on my love handles, I can practice breathing and listen only to the thrill in my son’s laughter.

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Bluegrass Romance Tip of the Week:

We all have monkey minds and most of us moms have an addiction to multi-tasking. Seeking romance and adventure will not a cure these things. The romantic merit of a date or the fun quotient of a family outing may have less to do with what you are doing and more to do with how present you are while doing it.  To get more out of your romance and adventure lifestlye, it’s worth it to spend time daily in an activity, like Bikram Yoga, that trains the mind to practice presence.

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**Photographs are not of actual Bikram yoga poses. They are just for sweaty effect. In a real Bikram class I am much more sweaty. **